jamiekswriter

I will be more prepared.

Luckily no one was hurt and the only damage aside from a mess of leaves and downed branches was a chestnut hurtled against my husband's windshield at about 65 mph. He's getting it fixed this week.

But we were out of power for about four days, which seemed much longer at the time.

We have city water and gas so cooking and drinking and more important -- flushing -- weren't a problem.

But we did hit some snags that I'm going to prepare for in the future.

1.) All our candles were scented and only three of them were jars. It smelled really pretty but got a bit cloying as the day went on. Especially since there was Hawaiian Ginger in the main bathroom, Pine in the small bathroom and Carribean Sunrise in the bedroom. All the smells didn't gel well. I had a lot of matching votives but with inquistive kitties and a 4 year old, I didn't trust the open flames. So for the next time unscented jars or one neutral scent in jars.

2.) We didn't have a hand crank flashlight or radio. So we were very miserly with the radio and the light because we were hearing stories that we would be out of power for 10 days, which brings me to . . .

3.) We didn't have any D batteries and very little C batteries. So I've gotten on Amazon's subscribe and save and have them ship me a pack of 12 every three months. I may change that to 6 months.

4.) We have a French press, but since buying our Keurig haven't been using it. So the ground coffee was stale. I'm getting a fresh bag the next time we get a storm inkling.

5.) I thought I was set because I had powdered milk. It went bad before we could drink the quart I made so next time I think I'm just going to stop up on some of the unrefrigerated milk boxes instead.

6.) Find all my board games. Because we were so paranoid about wasting batteries, we just went right to bed when it was dark. I think if we could have played a game or two it would have helped relaxing, especially with a bottle of wine.

7.) Clean out the garage so we can park the cars inside. No more hurtling chestnut damage!

My vampire novel Dead Man Stalking is a finalist in the The Charter Oak Romance Writers 2011 Golden Acorn Excellence in Writing Award in the light paranormal category. Winners will be announced in August.

Check this out:

"I want to tell you about an important book for writers. More and more publishers are depending on authors to market their books. Now there's real, practical help.

Romance writer and advertising expert Jennifer Fusco had written the book Market or Die: Sensible Brand Building Advice for Writers (Volume 1). Jennifer will be on Nights of Passion blog on Sat., June 25th. She will also be running a contest. One lucky commenter will win an website analysis. Is your website effective? How can you improve it? Jennifer will let that lucky person know.

So enter at http://nightsofpassion.wordpress.com on Sat., June 25, 2011. See blog for details on entering."

It's a cool book. I snagged it for my Kindle a few days ago. I like what she has to say about branding. She's going to be presenting her workshop at RWA next week too!

Well, before and during I should say. I'm holding strong at 55 lbs lost and it's getting rather frustrating. But other health issues (small ones) have stopped me from exercising for the next week or so, so hopefully I can push past the plateau. 19 weeks. It's been a long almost 5 months:



Today:

It was tiring though. I looked back at my last post and laughed. I didn't have time to read. Most nights me and the kiddo went to bed at the same time. The few nights I did stay up late, I did mindless things like playing WoW or my DS. I have an unholy fascination with Hidden Object Games (HOG). I always manage to lose patience and use up all my clues and then run out of time. One night I watched a DVD and knitted, but most nights it was ZZZZzzzzzZZZZ.

I did buy books though. LOL. I got the Iron Duke by Meljean Brook and Lord Scoundral by Loretta Chase. The former I've been wanting for sometime and the latter was reccommeded to me by a nice new friend I made at the RWA meeting. So that was my Valentine's Day gift to myself. That and the Atkins chocolate. I also got the "On the Hunt" anthology:
http://www.amazon.com/Hunt-Gena-Showalter/dp/0451232437/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1298049898&sr=8-15. Because one of my RWA members is in there. She even signed it for me! Yay! FanGirl Squeee! And the first book in Sherilyn Kenyon's Dark Hunter series. I found every other book in the series but that one. So I figure that's where I'll start on my new series quest.

So I interrupt this blathering about the 10 days of single mom hood to tell you that I'm at 49lbs weight loss. It's been 14 (long, arduous, hellish) weeks. I really wanted that 50 lbs mark, but next week. The last time I lost 50lbs it took TWO YEARS on Weight Watchers, so I'll take 15 weeks over that any day.

An update on the query sitch: 3 fulls, 1 partial and 5 Queries. Still in the game. The new novel is being workshopped and critted to death and I'm *really* hoping to still make my April 1st self-deadline to submit it around.

Which brings me back to the 10 days. I have a mentor with the RWA and she wants to take a looksee at the first chapter of the new book, which I want to add in all the crits I've been getting before I send it out to her. I actually have a ton of writing related things I'm backlogged on. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend.

So anyway, it was tough to be a single Mom while CTnewDad was in California. The BB came down with an ear infection and then one day I had to work late. So my Mom stepped up. (Some of you know what a pill she has been to me, so I was really worried about asking her. But I didn't have a choice and luckily she wasn't a tool about it.) BB Ray really missed his Daddy though. Yesterday, he hugged the laptop (we were Skyping with Daddy) and kissed the keyboard. So I think he's going to be overjoyed to have his Daddy read to him and put him to bed tonight.

Me? I'm trying to figure out if I should hit the gym or take a hot tub bath. I wish wine wasn't out of the question. Getting sloppily drunk would definitely be on the menu this evening if I wasn't *almost* at the half-way mark of my food exile.

Absolute Write Musical Chairs BlogFest
POV: Third Person

The Funeral
By
Jamie K. Schmidt

She should’ve run.

Sister Beatriz knelt in front of her father’s coffin, resting her forehead on her palms. Another corpse lay fifteen feet away, but he was unmourned. Michael had renounced his paladin’s vows and had taken her prisoner from her father’s funeral.

She should’ve run.

When two mourners cast off their black hoods and stood up to Michael, Beatriz had recognized the High Lord Jaxson and that crazy mage he married, Lady Janice. The fight had been quick and brutal.

Michael had pulled her in front of him as a shield, but Janice’s arcane bolts targeted only him. Beatriz had been able to shake loose after the first volley and she had run towards the vestibule. But she hung on to the doorway, afraid that her shaking legs wouldn’t hold her up. She watched Jaxson pepper Michael’s new, black plate mail with bullet holes. A pistol – even without the armor piercing rounds – wasn’t a noble weapon. And Michael, even though he had betrayed them all, had only his sword on him.

Family and friends had scattered. When it was just the three of them, not including the dead, Beatriz had made her way back to her father’s coffin.

She tried not to look at Michael, but her traitorous eyes categorized every feature. Beatriz would never look into his hazel eyes again. She would never again see his lips smile, his hands clench into fists. Beatriz cringed away from memories and tried not to flinch when Jaxon knelt next to her.

Keeping her eyes tightly shut, Beatriz knew that Jaxson would not disturb her in prayer. It was unsettling to hear Janice strip Michael out of his armor and search him for clues. After a few moments, Beatriz felt Jaxson's hand on her shoulder. She sighed. It was time. She should have run. Beatriz forced herself to look at him. His aura was blazingly pure and yellow. She had to turn her face away from its glory.

She should’ve run.

“Do you know where Michael was taking you?” Jaxson asked in a voice that tried to be kind, but had too many responsibilities and demands to be patient.

Beatriz shook her head and looked down at her clasped hands. She was no longer praying for her father’s soul. She was praying for her own.

“You were lovers before you took your vow?” Janice said from Michael’s corpse.

Beatriz felt Jaxson stiffen, but didn’t say anything. Beatriz followed his example. She raised her eyes to stare bleakly at her father's face, sunken and waxy in death. He had loved Michael like a son.

“You know who Michael was working for?” Jaxson asked, but it really wasn’t a question.

She nodded anyway. At least he was being polite. "The Horsemen," she said.

Jaxson didn't seem surprised, but his eyes narrowed on Michael's dead body.

“He has two plane tickets on him, first class to Rio de Janeiro. Who were you meeting?” Janice said.

“I don’t know,” Beatriz said and then thought, is that really my voice? She cleared the cobwebs and grief out of her throat and continued. “He didn’t tell me.”

“What did he tell you, dear?” Jaxson laid a warm hand on her shoulder.

It was the dear that did her in. She began to sob in great big gulps. Shocked, Jaxson patted her shoulder and muttered sympathies. She should have run to the parking lot where her big, ugly truck was; grabbed the spare keys from under the mat and took off as if the entire Hell’s choir was on her tailpipe. She could have outrun her father’s dying wish. She could have outpaced Michael’s ambition. She could have distanced herself from her sect and thrown her veil and beads into the Long Island Sound. Instead, duty personified now held her awkwardly as she cried her grief into his shoulder, mourning her lost father, her love and her freedom.

When there weren’t any more tears and her head felt full of thick pain, she eased away from Jaxson and stood up. She closed her father’s coffin and then took off her veil, laying it across the top. Rubbing her eyes, she turned to Janice who looked uncomfortable at the emotion in the air.

“He said he needed me.” At Janice’s triumphant look, Beatriz corrected her assumption. “He needed the gifts I have been granted.” Beatriz made it a point to stare at the holy emblem on Jaxson’s breastplate. It was the same one that her father was buried in.

“To do what?” Jaxson asked, also rising. He said a small blessing over the coffin and rested his hand upon it.

“There wasn’t a lot of time for explanations.” Beatriz sighed. “You saw all of it.”

Jaxson took a deep breath and Beatriz let her swollen eyes close again briefly. Here it comes, she thought.

“Dear, we need your help.”

She should’ve run.

Baby Ray decided to use his 3-year-old super powers to stay up until 11 p.m. last night.

I was trying to be the good, understanding Mommy because Daddy is away on a trip. I let him watch Toy Story and read him 6 books before tucking him in. He refused to use the potty, but I made him brush his teeth and get washed up.

He let himself out of his room to go to the potty about a half hour later. And by going to the potty, I mean jumping the gate and stalling while sitting on the throne and asking me "Are you happy?" Telling me "I love you Mama" "Why you so mad?" Making frowning faces back at me. Looking at the pictures on the wall and making up stories about them. Until I hauled his little stalling behind back to bed.

I was a sucker. I told him that I'd leave his door open so he could see the light from the other room.

Yeah, by 10 p.m. I actually screamed at him "GET BACK TO BED!!!!" and he burst into tears and played with his Rudolph. But he didn't get out of bed again. He did pitifully call for his Daddy. Which is a laugh because when his Daddy called at 10 p.m. I let him talk to the baby and when Dada asked "Why are you still up?" Raymond pouted and went back to bed.

By 10:30 p.m. I was considering going in there and taking Rudolph away from him. Rudolph has a jingling bell and if you hit his hoof, his nose lights up and plays the song.

By 11 p.m. when I went to check on him and put a blanket over him. He was wrapped around Rudolph. So I'm glad I didn't wrench it out his little arms while he sobbingly begged me not to. I really thought about it though.

I think I'm going to hide Rudolph tonight until her asks for it. I *wish* I could find Baby. Baby didn't make any noise. But Baby is somewhere playing with my Nintendo DS and the Camera USB cord. In other words, missing in action.

Also tonight, is going to be playtime with Mommy. We're going to color and maybe do puzzles. I think I tripped over the lego box last night, so maybe we'll build a robot or Sodor Steamworks. In any event, though, we're starting the bedroom routine at 7:00 p.m. tonight, not 8:00 p.m. He's getting a bath with his Ickle Robot bath bomb from LUSH. Then I'm blow drying his hair. He's brushing his teeth and getting two stories on the potty. Then we're going to read a bunch of stories in his room. Lights out at 8:00 p.m. I'm going to sing him "Mary had a little lamb" and "Goldilocks and the three bears". The door is being shut. The gate is coming up. And Mommy is going to turn off all the lights and send him back to bed. He was up at 6:30 this a.m. so I don't think I'll have to work as hard tonight.

I finished reading Dog the Bounty Hunter's 1st autobiography last night. Tonight I'm going to finish the "Double Comfort Safari Club" by Alexander McCall Smith. I could use a cup of Rooibus tea and Mma Ramotswe tonight. If the little bugger drops off early, I'll put in the DVD's of HBO's first season and try and finish my Valentine's Day scarf. I want to finish it so I can get the blue version on the needles. However, I'm yawning now so I don't think I'm going to last much longer. I think I might be a wimp and take Monday off and do something Valentiney for myself. Maybe take in a matinee.

I'm hoping to actually get some writing done this week. I got my Mom to watch the baby (I should stop calling him that, but the preschooler just doesn't seem to flow as well) on Saturday morning so I can go to my first RWA meeting in North Haven. I'm sending the critique group today the first five pages of "The Queen's Wings" formerly "Iron Britches" -- which I thought was a catchier title, but none of the betas thought it fit the story. I'm hoping to haave the first three chapters polished and ready for a second round of critiques soon. I'm still trying to have the book ready for querying by April 1st. :D I figured that worked for Dead Man's Stalking. I definitely know I have a page turning issue so I need to add a little more fire and dramatics to hook the reader in. So that's what I'm working on. Maybe I'll steal some time on Saturday after the meeting to grab a coffee at Starbucks and see what I can come up with.

OK so CTnewdad is heading to San Diego for a TEN DAY business trip. I'm going to be single Momming it. I know that the only way I'm going to survive is to get lost in a few good books when it comes to wind down for the night. Plus if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, I want some comfort reading. I also want some serious distraction so I can stop worrying about stupid shit like if a burglar is going to break in or if I need to wake the baby up and feed him a green vegetable. I mean there will be World of Warcraft, but I'm 85 on my main (human mage) in Gul's Angels (the guild where all my friends are. Shout out to the Angels!!! Whooo Hooo!) We're not a raiding guild as much as we're a writing guild. LOL.

I'm working through the Uldum quests -- love that area and then I'll go back and do Twilight Highlands. But really meh. I could log on to Vashj and level up my 80 priest, but there's no one to talk to now that our guild over there has dissolved. Plus she's a miner and I'm still scarred from leveling up that ::twitch::. I like playing horde and a blood elf so I can't transfer servers, well I can, but I'll be in the same boat so I might as well save the moola. And is it just me or are the pug groups in Cataclysm more douche baggy than WOTLK? I loved my pugs in Lich King. Cata not so much. I also think although I'm "technically" geared for heroics, my stuff isn't up to snuff. I've got to figure out why I'm being out DPS'd by everyone except the healer. LOL.

So I decided to get involved with another book series. I'm sad that Dennis Lehane's "Kenzie/Gennaro" books are done. I may download them to Kindle to re-read, but I'm looking for a new series, really.

I've read all the Jim Butcher Dresden novels. I'm pretty much current with Nora Roberts "In Death" series. I truly -- truly -- tried to get into Jordan's "Wheel of Time", but I can't get beyond the first few chapters. I really dig the Aes Sedai and everything, but something about the series doesn't click for me. (I have the same problem with Butcher's Furies of Calderon series) I'm half-way through Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth -- truthfully I'm starting to hear "yadda yadda yadda" every time Richard starts to monologue. The Outlander series is a little long in the tooth for me. I loved the first three, and then I started getting disinterested. Ditto Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear, although I heard the new book is out . . . I'm up to date on Anita Blake/Merry Gentry-- actually, I still have 1/2 of Bullet to listen to on my ipod. I'm up to date on Cassie Palmer's series, Ilona Andrews series(both of them), Richelle Mead's series, Kelley Armstrong's series (all of them), Rachel Vincent's werecat series, Faith Hunter's skinwalker series, Anton Strout's series, Jill Myles' succubus series and the Kitty the werewolf series by Carrie Vaughn. Ditto on the Mary Janice Davidson series (all of them) and Simon R. Green's. Wait -- I lied. I need to get the new Nightside one. I'm going to download that on audio so I can listen to it at work. Although, "A Hard Day's Night" would fit the bill perfectly. John Taylor and Suzie are familiar old friends. I might treat myself to a Kindle purchase tonight.

I need to read E.E. Knight's last few books to get back into the series. I fell out of the series after my favorite Grog went missing. I also have to figure out where I left off in my Thursday Next series -- Jasper Fforde's another one with a new book out. I'm rabidly awaiting the next Jack Reacher book and the next Sookie Stackhouse, the next Kim Harrison book, the next Mercy Thompson, Twilight's Dawn by Anne Bishop and Patrick Rothfuss's new Kvothe book. (WHY ISN'T IT MARCH YET???) and the next Night Huntress book. And Dance with Dragons ::sigh:: And Scott Lynch's new "Republic of Thieves" book ::double sigh:: But they're not coming out in the next few days. You get the picture.

So I need your help to pick a new series to get me through the next ten days. I like everything. I'll read the phone book if I'm motivated enough. But I do get bored easily and I tend to buy whatever catches my eye and if it doesn't suck me through that magical vortex, I'll put it on the shelf for later. I don't want a "later" book. I want a OMFG YOU CAN NOT STOP READING book.

I've got tons of singles around to read and a bunch of new books I want to buy (Allison Pang's Brush of Darkness, One Con Glory by Sarah Kuhn, When the Stars Go Blue by Caridad Ferrer, Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by Helen Simonsen and a boatload more), but I want the connection of familiar characters in a series to keep me company. (I know that sounds a little psychotic and strange girl who sits by herself and writes in a notebook in the highschool cafeteria -- but that's who I am. I've grown up to be the coffee house chick with the lap top, but the roots are still there. Characters in books are my friends. I have real life friends too, but they're usually not available at 3:00 a.m. to tell me a good story, you know?)

Here's what I've come up with -- Thanks to Smart Bitches, Trashy Books blog post today:

http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/index.php/weblog/comments/one-of-our-thursdays-is-missing/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+smartbitchestrashybooks%2FwRgd+Smart+Bitches%2C+Trashy+Books&utm_content=Yahoo%21+Mail&safe=on

--Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn series
--Naomi Norvik's "temerance series"
--Lois McMaster Bujold's "Vorkosigan" series
--Julia Spencer Fleming's "Fergusson/Van Alstyne" series
--Gardella Vampire Chronicles, by Colleen Gleason

Anyone read the above and can comment? I've got a rec for Brandon's series so he's the front runner. I have a Kindle and I'm not afraid to use it. :D

Although, I currently own:

Yasmine Galenorn's Sisters of the Moon series (except for the new one, but I don't mind buying it)-- the drawback is that they're not all in one place. So there's a bit of effort to find them all. I know that's lazyness on my part, but I'm going to be exhausted after chasing the preschooler after a full day of work. To give you an example, "Night Huntress" is in my office. One of them is in my car and I think the rest are scattered in my bedroom and maybe the basement. I'd have to go spelunking to find them in order.

Rachel Caine's "Weather Warden" series. I have book 4,5, and 6 in my office and 1,2,3 somewhere at home (see above). This would be a tougher search because I haven't been able to find 1,2,3 and I've recently looked.

J.R. Ward's "Black Brotherhood" - These are just a matter of putting them together and me stop giggling over the names. Pfury? Pfor Pfuck's sake really? Aside from the names, it's a pretty good series. However, I think I've read most of them. I don't want to do a re-read and the two or three books I have left won't last me the 10 days. Now that I'm thinking of it, I might be mixing up series/authors.

Sherrilyn Kenyon's "Dark Hunter" series - I got lucky someone was donating their paranormal romance collection (Three huge plastic bags) and about 20 of these books were in there. They're all in a mail carton in my bedroom. I just have to put them in order. See laziness factor.

Karen Marie Moning's Highlander series. I just finished Shadowfever and was blown away. I can't take anymore of those cliffhanger book endings so I'm glad this series is complete. This is the most appealing as I can just download them to Kindle. But I think there's only a few books and that won't last me the full time.

The only problem is that I'm looking for something to grab me by the hair and say, "Calgon take me away."

Any one have any other suggestions?

The Bully (YA fiction)
An Absolute Write Musical Chairs Blogfest
http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=5709481#post5709481

When Tammy Jordan danced with the train, her parents were convinced she was pushed. They were right. But no one shoved her shoulder blades until she pin wheeled into the oncoming express. Tammy jumped. But she jumped because of the Haters.

I wasn’t her friend. I wasn’t her enemy. I wasn’t one of the Haters. I just watched it happen, like a bad TV sitcom. I am a cheerleader. Sometimes, I’ll be the scorekeeper at the games when the coaches need some extra help. I watch things. I like to watch the game. But it’s very important to keep score.

Ellie took the pictures of Tammy in the girls’ locker room, with the new cell phone her Daddy gave her to make up for the fact that he divorced her Mom to live with his boyfriend. It was so tiny you could palm it and never hear the click of the camera over the spray of the shower.

The baseball bat used to bludgeon Ellie to death belonged to Dean, the home run leader of Jacksonville High School. Dean was also a computer geek. He made the web page to showcase Tammy in the buff and passed out the URL to everyone in school.

The police had his fingerprints on the bat. They had probable cause. I told them that Dean was real mad that Ellie wouldn’t go to second base with him. He was supposed to be at home studying for a test, but his parents both worked and no one could confirm his alibi. So much for that baseball scholarship. His parents have really good lawyers, but we live in a small town. He’ll always be guilty. I hear Tammy’s parents are trying to find out where he was the morning Tammy swan dived into the train platform.

Two down. Two to go.

Margo had pretended to be a boy and flirt with Tammy on MySpace. They arranged to meet at the diner. But instead of meeting a potential boyfriend, Tammy faced instead, the Haters who laughed at her before showing her the webpage on Dean’s lap top. She deleted all her posts, but still left mocking snipes about how gullible Tammy was. Margo suffocated in the middle of the night. The coroner said that it looked like someone had shoved a pillow over her face and put heavy weight on it until she died. There was no sign of forced entry or burglary. No sign of sexual abuse or other trauma. But when police looked at her phone, they saw sexting messages about bondage and auto erotic asphyxiation to her boyfriend Kyle.

Kyle said he only received those texts the night she was killed. He told them they never discussed that type of stuff. He was right. The police confiscated his phone and confirmed it, but they also found that Ellie had e-mailed him Tammy’s pictures. That led them to the website. And now Kyle and Dean have to register as sex offenders because they had them in their possession. There wasn’t enough evidence to charge Kyle for Margo’s murder. His mom and dad were home and confirmed that he hadn’t left the house all night. Tammy’s parents are livid. Three dead girls. No convictions.

Kyle and Dean were on the football team. It was easy to find out which colleges they were applying for. It was even easier to send those colleges information on Ellie and Margo’s deaths and Tammy’s website. The papers did a good job of speculating and then when the local bloggers picked it up, it was easy to cache the information and keep it in a file.

Kyle and Dean haven’t paid. The score is uneven and that bothers me. They would do this again. They didn’t learn. I still saw them pushing freshmen into lockers and hustling for lunch money and cigarettes. Their girlfriends, cheerleaders like me, would laugh and hang on their arms, delighted that it wasn’t them that was being extorted or beat up. No one would stop them. No one could.

It had been easy to slip on gloves and borrow Dean’s bat. Even easier to follow Ellie home and ask her to look at what I found in the alley behind the diner. I was a cheerleader. I was a popular girl. And I was paying attention to her.

It felt good to bring that bat down on her head. Again and again until that stupid little phone bounced out of her pocket and smashed on the ground. It could have been me that she had taken pictures of, maybe she had. Now, no one would see them. After I threw the bat away in the garbage, I took off my gloves and walked away. The blood had splattered a bit on my cheerleading outfit and shoes, but a little bleach in the water took care of that.

Margo was easy too. I asked her to help me study for the calculus exam. We went to her house after school. I memorized the alarm code and palmed her key from the rack when she wasn’t looking and took it home with me. I had a copy made at the hardware store. Since I had forgotten my calculus book, I had to go back to Margo’s house that night and get it. I put the key back before anyone knew it was missing. So about a month later, it was easy to let myself into the house and make that fake bitch eat her pillow.

I didn’t think through the sexts, though. Didn’t realize that the police would pull all the records and see that this was the only time. So Kyle walked, just like Dean did. They didn’t pay for Tammy’s death.

Three dead girls. Three unsolved murders.

Dean got meaner. Kyle became thinner and withdrawn. When Dean’s girlfriend got sick of him pinching her and calling her fat in front of her friends, I stepped in. No one was more surprised than Dean. I was the homecoming Queen. He was a second string linebacker starting to go to fat around the middle. At first, he treated me like the royalty he thought I was, but when I wouldn’t put out he started applying pressure. Didn’t I love him? Did I want the whole high school to think I was a tease?

So I agreed to go out to make out point with him. It was a rocky cliff that looked over the whole town. The lights from the nearby city looked pretty from up there. And it was a great place to see the stars. I brought along a fifth of whiskey I took from my parents’ liquor cabinet and encouraged him to drink it. It had enough no doze in it that he was drooling on the wheel instead of me in no time. I turned on the car. Let off the emergency brake. Opened his door and pushed on his knee until his foot hit the gas. The door clunked me in shoulder and I barely got clear as it went over the side. The scratches and bruises on me helped my story that Dean tried to kill us and I jumped to safety in time. He was depressed about how his life was ruined. I told the police, he had confessed to killing Ellie. I got in trouble for filching the booze. I got lucky his parents didn’t want an autopsy.

That still left Kyle, who wasn’t as dumb as he looked. He avoided me. He didn’t want to commiserate. He even called me the Angel of Death. There’s no way he could have known. But I think he did. You see I think Kyle had liked Tammy. I think he really liked her. They had a few classes together and I would watch him smile at her. But Margo put out and Kyle didn’t want to lose that. I think it might have been Margo’s idea in the first place because she was jealous and afraid of losing Kyle. Ellie would have been easy to convince and Dean would have done anything to see a naked girl. But I couldn’t figure out how they got Kyle to go along with it.

One day after practice, I waited by the locker room. He was the last to leave. He almost dove back in when he saw me waiting for him. I saw him take a quick breath and make a decision.

“You want to go for a drive?”

“Yeah,” I said.

We didn’t talk until we hit the highway. Kyle lit a cigarette and his fingers were shaking. “You want one?”

“Nah,” I said. “I only want one thing from you.”

“My death?” He gave a half bark of a laugh. “I’ve tried. I had my dad’s gun in my hand. My Mom’s valium. I can’t do it. I’m a coward.”

“Is that why you let them ruin Tammy?”

His breath hitched and he took a long drag on his cigarette. “I guess.” He sped up to pass a slow moving car. “Why do you care? You didn’t know her. Hell, you never speak to anyone. Just in your own little perfect world most of the time.” Kyle ground out the cigarette into the ashtray. “Too good for the rest of us. Why do you care?”

“Someone has to,” I said. “Someone has to even the score.”

“Why? There are losers and there are winners. No one ever likes a tie.”

“Would you have done it again?”

“No,” Kyle said and his eyes flooded. “God, no.”

“Would they have?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Yeah.” Kyle ran his fingers through his hair and accelerated again. He pinned the car at 100 mph.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m evening the score. Tammy’s dead. Margo, Ellie and Dean are dead. The only people left in this dance are you and me.”

“I’m . . .”

“Innocent?” He mocked. “You killed three people.”

I sat back in my seat. I couldn’t jump. Not at this speed. My seat belt and the airbag were only good intentions at this point. “You’re crazy.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. I’m a coward, but you’re a murderer.”

“So we both die?” I said.

“Wouldn’t the score be even?”

“I don’t want to die.”

“Neither did they,” he said.

“Stop this.”

“No.”

“Stop this car this instant.”

“Or what?”

I gripped the seatbelt with my hands. “What do you want?”

“I want it to end. I want to be forgiven. I want it not to have happened. I want Tammy.” He was sobbing now. The car careening from lane to lane.

“You can’t have her back she’s gone. But you can make it up to her.”

“This is me making it up to her.”

“It’s not good enough.”

“What?” He let up on the gas enough to look at me.

“We die. It ends.”

“Good.”

“But what about the other Tammies? And the other Deans?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Who is going to even the score for them?”

“Are you on drugs?”

“I am a vigilante. I make a difference. But more important.” I put a hand on his arm. “I can sleep at night.”

He let out a long breath and took his foot off the gas.

::giggle:: That's the title of an e-mail I got from Writer's Digest Magazine today.

If I was more full of piss and vinegar I'd send a response back that said,

"Poofread your e-mails"

LOL, then again I've done it. So I guess I shouldn't snark, but it did give me a smile.